If my barefoot running experiences are an indicator, these dudes have an inkling that their worldview is causing them significant angst and feel the void, but haven't had that "major injury" experience to compel them to overcome the fear of change. Their interest is fascinating because I would expect anyone that wasn't interested would simply ignore my ramblings. It's no surprise sexual passivity and being overly cautious is one of the most common complaints women have about their sexual partners.Ĭuriously, I have a fair number of beta males that routinely jump into discussions related to the Man Camp view of gender roles. This is obviously problematic in a society that obsesses over the silly idea of "rape culture" because it makes most men extremely wary about expressing sexual dominance. This one was another tough lesson to accept, though the runaway popularity of '50 Shades of Gray' should have been a good hint, but it took the now-rare book " The Sex God Method" to really hammer home the point - almost all women love sexually dominant men. men that are good at being men make panties wet. It's no surprise the men that join our male-only San Diego Man Camp group universally experience an increase in sexual frequency and quality. There's nothing remotely arousing about androgynous blobs. Eliminate one or both and passion disappears. The stronger that difference, the greater the potential for arousal. Traditional masculinity (not to be confused with the androgyny of the modern metrosexual male) and traditional femininity are kinda like the yin and yang of sexual arousal. "Falling" is measured by the intensity of the feelings we have for the other person, which we often call "having a spark." This is why sometimes we have incredibly powerful feelings for a person that's not our type or feel nothing for someone that's perfect on paper. The greater the difference between our genes, the stronger we "fall" for the person. We give of pheromones that contain information about our genetic makeup. Okay, I've known about this one for a while. As such, it's important to learn to alternate between the two. Passion requires mystery and distance, intimacy requires mutual self-disclosure and vulnerability. I've written about this phenomenon before, so I'll keep it brief (see the linked post for more detail.) In essence, passion, or the desire to have sex with someone, and intimacy, the closeness and bonding we feel with another, are mutually exclusive. William Lynch, Will Sex Coach Yes, No, Maybe Checklist: Ī.E. It all just starts with honest communication and an adventuresome spirit! When providing this list to clients, go through the list with them to ensure they know what each item is-the only thing worse than jumping into something new is signing up for something you don’t understand (Anyone who’s ever signed a home security system contract knows this all too well)! For example, does your client know all of these terms: anal plug, prostate massage, bondage tape, rimming, pet play, cunnilingus, hot wax, nipple clamps, or sounding?Įducation is key to practicing risk-aware consensual kink. If they’ve already begun exploring kink, step right up to a hardcore list. For those who are just starting to wander outside the borders of vanilla sex, recommend a “lite” version of the list. There are dozens of versions of the list on the internet, written by other sexologists, sex therapists, kink-aware professionals, and those in the BDSM lifestyle. You can build your own list, or use a pre-existing one (examples are linked below). It’s important to note that you and your clients are not limited by the items on the list-it’s merely a conversation starter and to prompt you with new ideas. The goal of the checklist is to open the lines of communication between partners. This activity also provides the perfect opportunity to bring up new kinks, fantasies, and activities that they’ve always been wanting to discuss, but never had the opportunity or courage to do so. It’s important to have them fill out the list without discussing it together to eliminate any perceived pressure from their partner(s) to answer in a specific way. All partners in the relationship should complete the checklist separately then come together to discuss their responses. and an area to mark a response of “yes,” “no,” or “maybe” to indicate your level of interest in said item. In essence, the yes, no, maybe checklist is a document that contains a list of sexual activities, positions, products, kinks, fetishes, etc. Where do they start? As a sexuality professional, what do you recommend? A fantastic way to start the conversation is by having them complete a “yes, no, maybe” checklist! A client comes to you-they’re looking to add some spice to their sex life.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |